My Divinorum Experience
Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:23 am
Yesterday, on new years day, I did the Divinorum dose. I tried Trip and others before but they didn't seem to work, possibly because I didn't prepare (enough).
After all the preparations, I was lying down counting backwards from 503 to 0 while doing Condition first.
When I reached 141 or somewhere near that number, I was halfway Divinorum. (I think)
I just stopped counting without realizing it and got into a trance. My body was twitching slightly, but other than that nothing. I remembered that if you start pretending (placebo) that it could also get you going.
So I started imagining myself rolling to the right, up the wall and falling onto my bed again. I felt as if I was doing it and the right side of my body was twitching. I wasn't hallucinating but I did have a very vivid imagination, so I imagined jumping out of bed opening the door and walking down the stairs, and then it happened:
I saw someone standing next to me, to my left, resembling a sort of devil/lucifer.
He wasn't scary or anything, when he introduced himself I could hear myself think his words. So it wasn't as if something other voice was talking to me, it was like he was my inner self talking to my through my thoughts. I thought it was fake 
and well he didn't think it was so funny. I imagined him jumping from great height onto my chest. I could feel my body contract together and I couldn't breath for some seconds. I told him that I believed him now and he jumped of my chest. I could feel an aura of power around me and my body was twitching left and right. (more of these 'tests' happened in my dream when I was resisting what was happening, through logical-izing it.)
We were at the stairs again and I saw the classic death, the grim reaper with hoodie and that eh thing he carries around. Lucifer (inner self) told me to hug him.
I went nuts. What the fuck, why do you want me to hug death/everything I fear? Lucifer laughed mean and told me to just do it. With tears in my eyes I did it. I felt the bone likehands of death on my back and it was pretty scary. Lucifer told me that I needed to realize what this meant. To me it meant that I was facing my fears: Fear of death, fear of judgement by others and fear of something else i forgot.
The fear of death went away quickly when I realized that everything dies and when it's my time, it's just my time. The fear of something else i forgot went away as well, and the rest of my 'dream' I was fighting my fear of being judged by others. Somewhere in the middle of the 'lesson' I heard that the track was ending so I started it over and the 'lesson' continued. Stuff like avalanches happened to me and talking in public but none of it I couldn't handle. I realized that my fear of being judged was stupid and that I was strong enough. Buried by stones I broke free and felt an aura of awesome around me. When the track was ending for the second time I asked lucifer wether I Should replay it again. He said that for now I wouldn't learn anything new. So I let it stop and opened my eyes. Everything seemed different in a way. I learned that I needed to stop restricting myself, emotionally and in other ways.
So yeah that was fucking awesome! First dose that worked for me. Shame that when I woke up this morning I didn't feel as powerful as I did after the dose. I tellya, I felt unstoppable.
After all the preparations, I was lying down counting backwards from 503 to 0 while doing Condition first.
When I reached 141 or somewhere near that number, I was halfway Divinorum. (I think)
I just stopped counting without realizing it and got into a trance. My body was twitching slightly, but other than that nothing. I remembered that if you start pretending (placebo) that it could also get you going.
So I started imagining myself rolling to the right, up the wall and falling onto my bed again. I felt as if I was doing it and the right side of my body was twitching. I wasn't hallucinating but I did have a very vivid imagination, so I imagined jumping out of bed opening the door and walking down the stairs, and then it happened:
I saw someone standing next to me, to my left, resembling a sort of devil/lucifer.
He wasn't scary or anything, when he introduced himself I could hear myself think his words. So it wasn't as if something other voice was talking to me, it was like he was my inner self talking to my through my thoughts. I thought it was fake and well he didn't think it was so funny. I imagined him jumping from great height onto my chest. I could feel my body contract together and I couldn't breath for some seconds. I told him that I believed him now and he jumped of my chest. I could feel an aura of power around me and my body was twitching left and right. (more of these 'tests' happened in my dream when I was resisting what was happening, through logical-izing it.) We were at the stairs again and I saw the classic death, the grim reaper with hoodie and that eh thing he carries around. Lucifer (inner self) told me to hug him.
I went nuts. What the fuck, why do you want me to hug death/everything I fear? Lucifer laughed mean and told me to just do it. With tears in my eyes I did it. I felt the bone likehands of death on my back and it was pretty scary. Lucifer told me that I needed to realize what this meant. To me it meant that I was facing my fears: Fear of death, fear of judgement by others and fear of something else i forgot. The fear of death went away quickly when I realized that everything dies and when it's my time, it's just my time. The fear of something else i forgot went away as well, and the rest of my 'dream' I was fighting my fear of being judged by others. Somewhere in the middle of the 'lesson' I heard that the track was ending so I started it over and the 'lesson' continued. Stuff like avalanches happened to me and talking in public but none of it I couldn't handle. I realized that my fear of being judged was stupid and that I was strong enough. Buried by stones I broke free and felt an aura of awesome around me. When the track was ending for the second time I asked lucifer wether I Should replay it again. He said that for now I wouldn't learn anything new. So I let it stop and opened my eyes. Everything seemed different in a way. I learned that I needed to stop restricting myself, emotionally and in other ways.
So yeah that was fucking awesome! First dose that worked for me. Shame that when I woke up this morning I didn't feel as powerful as I did after the dose. I tellya, I felt unstoppable.
