First Experience (I think- tell me if it happened)
Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 1:35 pm
I think I just had my first real experience. I had made sure it was completely quiet and laid out completely still. I was listening to "white crosses" on my ipod touch. At first I spent most of it calming myself and counting backwards from 100, and towards the end began to fall into the less conscious state. I didn't really experience anything spectacular until the last few minutes. During this time I felt very light. I was not sure whether this was just me or the white crosses. Suddenly my heart had a weird feeling of sharpness. It wasn't a bad feeling but it wasn't exactly good. It was just weird. Then, I started seeing a line of light under my eyelids start at the top and move down, and then begin at the top again and move down. It was like the sort of light you see when you're in the sun and and close your eyelids. You still see some light come through. But the light was moving down, but I think it might have been light coming through the bottom of the cloth I had over my eyes, and I was just following it. As the dose ended I felt really good, but this may be just cause I had rested. Which is unusual though, as after I rest I feel disoriented. So here is a basic list of what I felt happened:
Things I believe may have come from the dose:
1. The jump in my heart, it was very odd and I'm still feeling it sort of. It was the only telltale sign of it working, as I wasn't expecting it. It doesn't seem logical it could have been from excitement because before it were feelings I usually experience when laying down anyways.
Things I'm not sure were legitimate or placebo:
1. The light feeling. I had experienced this somewhat during my very first dose, which was astral projection. So I'm not entirely sure. it seems to fit the description though- as white crosses is supposed to give that feeling I believe.
2. The moving lights. I am skeptic about this. There was not any light coming through my cloth, except maybe at the bottom light shone through. So what I'm wondering is, did the moving lights happen because of the effect and the small amount of light, or did my eyes just wander? I'd like to think it is the dose, as that didn't happen until the end anyways. The light was also more whitish, while sunlight coming through my eyelids is more orange seeming.
3. Waking up feeling refreshed. This may have just been from the calming nap. But usually I feel disoriented after naps. Previously I used absinthe and felt it didn't do anything but I did feel a bit disoriented after the nap. So it may have been from the dose.
Things I believe may be placebo:
1. Probably just the unconscious feeling. I had expected this from simply trying to stay still and think about nothing but counting backwards.
As you can see I'm skeptic about this whole thing, not choosing to believe that it works or not. But I do WANT it to work, it seems really cool. And from this experience I'm willing to continue researching into it. I may even purchase some of the buyable doses on my ipod. So I need the community's response: Did I experience what white crosses was meant for, or was it completely my imagination? I believe in the power of making yourself think something is working to this extent, but if others have experienced these things I felt I'm willing to buy into it. I didn't expect the jump in my heart or the lights. Tell me what you feel when you use this one, so I can know if it actually worked. Thanks.
Things I believe may have come from the dose:
1. The jump in my heart, it was very odd and I'm still feeling it sort of. It was the only telltale sign of it working, as I wasn't expecting it. It doesn't seem logical it could have been from excitement because before it were feelings I usually experience when laying down anyways.
Things I'm not sure were legitimate or placebo:
1. The light feeling. I had experienced this somewhat during my very first dose, which was astral projection. So I'm not entirely sure. it seems to fit the description though- as white crosses is supposed to give that feeling I believe.
2. The moving lights. I am skeptic about this. There was not any light coming through my cloth, except maybe at the bottom light shone through. So what I'm wondering is, did the moving lights happen because of the effect and the small amount of light, or did my eyes just wander? I'd like to think it is the dose, as that didn't happen until the end anyways. The light was also more whitish, while sunlight coming through my eyelids is more orange seeming.
3. Waking up feeling refreshed. This may have just been from the calming nap. But usually I feel disoriented after naps. Previously I used absinthe and felt it didn't do anything but I did feel a bit disoriented after the nap. So it may have been from the dose.
Things I believe may be placebo:
1. Probably just the unconscious feeling. I had expected this from simply trying to stay still and think about nothing but counting backwards.
As you can see I'm skeptic about this whole thing, not choosing to believe that it works or not. But I do WANT it to work, it seems really cool. And from this experience I'm willing to continue researching into it. I may even purchase some of the buyable doses on my ipod. So I need the community's response: Did I experience what white crosses was meant for, or was it completely my imagination? I believe in the power of making yourself think something is working to this extent, but if others have experienced these things I felt I'm willing to buy into it. I didn't expect the jump in my heart or the lights. Tell me what you feel when you use this one, so I can know if it actually worked. Thanks.