So i laid down, and started to try and think of nothing, it didnt really work out that well, so i just let my mind wander. My hands and arms started to feel heavy, and kind of different, it felt really weird, but also very very nice. I waited for some time and the feeling hit my legs too. I was just lying with this awesome feeling.
The sounds started to change and i was all ready to receive more of this awesome dose so far, my body started to feel even more heavy, and at some points, i almost couldnt feel my hands, i wasnt able to tell if my palms were facing up, or down, this might sound creepy, and it was if i focused on it, but if i just let it go, it felt awesome.
Soon my breathing started to change, and it freaked me out, i was just laying there and then all of a sudden, my body started breathing really small breaths, i got scared that i wouldnt get enough oxygen, and it made me more aware and lucid, and i had to manually take over the breathing, this was not very cool, it was actually really annoying.
This thing with the breathing happened a few times, at one point i tried to just keep my breathing that way, but every time i got into it, i just got way too lucid and took over breathing manually, i really wanted to just let it go, but i couldnt. this sucked. it kept going that way for around 5 minutes, on and off.
Until then....
The white noise started to come.
I had just returned my breathing to normal, and was thinking of attempting once more to get my breathing to the slow (and therewith further into the doe) and then the white noise arrived. It slowly got louder and louder, and i was thinking "wow wow wow wow, what is happening now???".
As the white noise got louder and louder, my body started to feel heavier and heavier, each second more awesome than the previous, and then SNAP, when the white noise hit its peak, it felt like i was shot into the universe, i was seeing stars flying by my sides, and i could see one big galaxy in front of me, it was such an awesome feeling, and it was sooo beautiful, all this wonder happening in the blackness of my eyelids, i could feel the happiness rolling over me, and this forced me back to my conscious body state, and this is where it started to get freaky.
Patterns were starting to form in front of my eyes, and in those patterns i saw scenes from what looked like to be some sort of horror movie. I kept seeing furious faces, with their mouth wide open, they looked so angry and malevolent, i didnt get scared, because at this point, i knew it was the dose communicating with me, it was sending me messages about my anxiety and paranoia concerning idosers (trust me, it took a lot of courage for me to start this dose, for some reason im really scared to, im scared that i will experience something scary, or it will be unpleasant)
They were trying to tell me, that if i expected something scary, or bad, then i would get something scary or bad. they were telling me how i should not fear, the power of my mind, but as a punishment, they would continue to try and scare me off the dose.
The thing is, i wasnt really scared of these faces of anger, i had already experienced a lot of somewhat positiveness from this dose, and i had the courage to go on.
I told the creatures from the white noise, that i wasnt scared of them, and i was no longer scared of the binatural beats, they told me to come back to them again, and prove it.
This was the last thing they said to me, and the faces faded away.
The dose wasnt over, and i wasnt feeling anything when they had left, so i begged them to come back and show me something awesome, i mean the dose wasnt over yet? i still had more time.
they didnt respond, and they didnt send any effects my way, after my begging, so i tried other strategies to see if that would work, i tried getting angry at them, and telling them that i was the master, and i they were simply here to abide my commands, then i went back to begging, and then i tried the revers psychology methods, "oh you guys cant even give me effects anyway, you arent powerful enough, besides i dont even want the effects".
Then the dose ended.
I opened my eyes, without moving i enjoyed the last few minutes of my body being extremely heavy, then i got up and turned off my computer.
The cool thing about these white noise creatures, was that the way they were communicating with me, was through my own thoughts, when i was talking to them, i got thoughts i couldnt control, it was a bit scary, but it was also soooo cool.
I guess they told me to come back, prepared, so tomorrow night im gonna try it again.
Im sorry this got very long, i thought i just wanted to share
